sodomymcscurvylegs:

d1rtypaws:

Me: I love being out at night, I’m not scared of the dark!

tree: *exists, looking very vaguely like a person*

Me:

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thighschool:

flexery:

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This iconic bubble wrap review

where’s her pulitzer prize?

pissbong:
“”
pissbong:
“”

pissbong:

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queenwhiskey:
“ shitty-car-mods-daily:
“Old sock. via Shitty_Car_Mods
”
This is the best one yet
”
queenwhiskey:
“ shitty-car-mods-daily:
“Old sock. via Shitty_Car_Mods
”
This is the best one yet
”

queenwhiskey:

shitty-car-mods-daily:

Old sock. via Shitty_Car_Mods

This is the best one yet

If you’re having a bad day, remember that in 16th century Baltic Germans dressed like this:

s-a-l-t-y-m-e-r-m-a-i-d:

official-estonia:

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me dragging my blanket around the whole damn house cuz all of me must be toasty

thatwasuzi:
“ pbkdf2:
“ you are missing something! although those are the boots of the apollo 11 suits, they’re not what was worn on the moon. neil armstrong, not content with wearing just one pair of shoes, demanded nasa make him another, larger and...
thatwasuzi:
“ pbkdf2:
“ you are missing something! although those are the boots of the apollo 11 suits, they’re not what was worn on the moon. neil armstrong, not content with wearing just one pair of shoes, demanded nasa make him another, larger and...

thatwasuzi:

pbkdf2:

you are missing something! although those are the boots of the apollo 11 suits, they’re not what was worn on the moon. neil armstrong, not content with wearing just one pair of shoes, demanded nasa make him another, larger and cooler pair of boots just for walking on the moon.

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you can see them here, to the right of the suit’s built-in boots.

photos of armstrong on the moon prominently feature the boots!

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although i couldn’t find any official nasa photos of the bottoms of the boots, i could find something even more interesting! an x-ray of the boots “taken as a last minute check to see if there were any foreign objects that could compromise the integrity of the spacesuit during the mission, such as broken off tips of needles that were used in the stitching process”

the thick vertical lines are the treads at the bottoms of the boots

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on a more pragmatic note: if nasa was faking a moon landing with a $150 billion+ budget, do you really think they’d mess up something as simple as a boot print?

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dontwantthenextcommanderiwantyou:

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peteseeger:

chasecharmer:

genres are OUTDATED. i sort my music by thottiness, jammability, rebelliousness, theatricality, and depression.

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gaygothur:

Shoutout to Dick Van Dyke for being a cis dude whose parents gave him a drag king name for some reason

thehighpriestofreverseracism:

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versacethotty:

me pretending to be busy at werk

phallical:

salty-blue-mage:

Me in the club when all the shots finally hit

Cynthia snapped

averagefairy:
“me talking to myself in the back room at work
”
averagefairy:
“me talking to myself in the back room at work
”

averagefairy:

me talking to myself in the back room at work

katielittlejohn:

soorajmakhi:

theyellowbrickroad:

theyellowbrickroad:

Did I ever tell u guys about the time my ex legitimately thought he killed me with his dick???

Ok so picture this I’m 18 and excited about sex, trying out some new positions. We are having sex in a pretty similar position to this

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And my pussy is so wet it might as well be a god damn Slip N Slide ok. And he’s pounding at it fast and hard but slips out and goes to go right back in… But something is wrong. He’s about to enter….

The. Wrong. Hole.

And my eyes widen, I go to shout “noooo!!!!” But it’s all happening too fast. He thrusts right into my unlubed asshole and I scream like murder and leap right up onto my feet.

We had only been dating a couple of months at this time and there was something very important he did not know about me: I am a chronic fainter. If I’m in pain or if I see my own blood, I will pass the fuck out. I get real quiet and turn to him and say, “I am going to pass out.”

He doesn’t know I’m serious, he thinks I’m just being emotional, and he’s like “no baby come here” but as he finishes that sentence i faint and my head ping pongs off my metal bed frame, onto the wall and then finally my whole body falls on the ground.

He has never seen anybody faint before and naturally assumes I’m dead. A couple minutes later I awaken to him sobbing into my naked chest. Like this motherfucker really thought he sent me to the grave with some accidental anal sex.

SIMONE I AM YELLING

Joining tumblr was worth it just to read this. I didn’t make a terrible mistake 9 years ago, after all.

evnw:

This is a queer experience